Anton Blanchard's desk needs to be cleaned by the "Chuck Norris Cleaning Company".
If the router drops your packets, you're not Anton Blanchard.
Anton Blanchard doesn't need to stop in order to collaborate & listen, nor for Hammer time.
Anton Blanchard can understand Milton code.
Anton Blanchard's magnetic field realigns data on page boundaries automatically as he walks by.
Anton Blanchard's "+1"s on Google Plus are actually worth +2.
Anton Blanchard has implemented prior art to 97% of all software patents.
Before interacting with colleagues, Anton Blanchard drinks a case of whiskey to bring himself down to their level.
Anton Blanchard scales O(1).
Anton Blanchard's packets are immune to PRISM monitoring.