The staff at the Staybridge Suites in Austin, once realising that you are Australian, will ask, "Do you know Anton Blanchard?".
Anton Blanchard time-space warps Austin to him.
Anton Blanchard has no idle thread.
Anton Blanchard can turn spaghetti code into lasagna.
There are no bugs - only code that wasn't written by Anton Blanchard.
Anton Blanchard scales O(1).
Anton Blanchard's Shinybook is a root DNS server.
Liquid crystals are for chumps. Anton Blanchard uses gas crystals.
Anton Blanchard can pass go and collect $200 on the way to jail.
Anton Blanchard stores his backups in your unused registers.